Here’s a quick update on my boys; a toddler is equivalent to a crazy person!! Declan just turned five on the 9th, and man, he’s giving us a run for our money! Tristan is three going on 30, with an attitude to match. Both of these kids are growing like weeds and are an absolute JOY every day. The conversations I’ve been having with them lately = top-notch! Plus, hysterical and oh so funny. Be prepared for the hilariousness of a toddler conversation or two!
Birthday toy disaster # 1:
Declan received a cool CraZArt Softee Dough Deluxe Drive-Thru playset for his birthday from a school friend, and he’s just gotten it all set up. As I’m trying to write this post, they begin fighting after my usual 8-hour job. Declan wants to make a hamburger, but that requires lettuce and this playset only comes with the colors red, blue, yellow & white. So I explained that you could MAKE green by mixing blue and yellow. Well, Tristan had ALL of the red and blue. So Declan asked Tristan for some blue, as he had the yellow. Well, Tristan promptly informed him that the blue was HIS. Begin crying, screaming, etc.
To calm them down, I had them bring me all of the playdough; I took each tube, split them right down the middle, and handed each child half of each color. They both started clapping and jumping because they had EVERY color! I started laughing and said, “Just use your brains, my loves – there’s always a solution. Usually right in front of you!” Which they completely ignored, as a toddler will do!
Birthday party drama, per the toddler:
We had two minor parties for Declan for his birthday – one with close family and friends; and the other with his school friends and fellow Kindergarten mommas and their littles. The first set of “disasters” struck at the first party with family. I had my dad go out and buy some of those blow-up helium balloons and bring them to a local park, Suson, for the party.
My dad got there about 15 minutes before we did. It was a CRAZY, blustery, windy day (video evidence of the struggles of lighting the candle below!) – I mean, we had trouble lighting the candle just long enough for him to blow it out himself! So my dad hands me Declan’s balloons, and I’m standing there talking to my girlfriend while Declan “oohs and ahhs” over the balloons and his birthday hat. The next thing I know, Declan is staring in the sky, and my friend asks him what he’s looking at, and she starts looking and points at a balloon.
Well, one of the balloons that were TIED WITH A STRING was BLOWN away by the wind! So now, we had four balloons instead of the required five for the newly minted five-year-old toddler – or is that even a thing? Is 5 a toddler age? Anyways, Declan started to pout, and when we asked him what was wrong, here was his response:
“Well, now I can’t be five anymore since one of the balloons went away. I have to stay four years old!” I promise you, my friend and I were cracking up!
Throwback to a few weeks ago on a bit of a road trip with the family, toddler 1 & toddler 2 in tow:
Tyler (the hubby) and I were talking in the front seat as usual – and we were under the impression the toddler and the kid were asleep. Well, Tyler brings up a dirty (but funny) joke and tells me this joke in somewhat of a whisper even though we think the kids are sleeping. I begin cracking up laughing when suddenly; a voice from the backseat says as matter-of-factly as possible:
“God is watching you, daddy. He’s not watching mommy, because she didn’t do anything; but He’s watching you!”
Hubby and I were both speechless and hysterically trying to cover our faces and not laugh at Declan. Finally, Tyler says, “Declan, do you have any idea what mommy and I are talking about?!” Declan says, “No, but God does,” and we lose it yet again. I mean, damn, kids say the funniest things, right!?
Birthday party entertainment:
Recently, just this past Sunday, we held a birthday party for Declan and his school pals in a local park down here, Dean Danieley Park, a cute little park with a playground, and a creek, surrounded by houses. It’s essentially in the middle of minor subdivisions and relatively hidden.
It has a pavilion, which I stupidly assumed wouldn’t be in use since no one is EVER there when we bring the kids to play. In the year we’ve gone to that park, we’ve seen 20 kids overall, aside from our kids. But, of course, as luck had it, someone else was throwing a party that day too and already had the pavilion decorated. We were relegated to a picnic table under the shade of some trees near the creek.
The first hour – fantastic – kids played, ran through the glade-like area, and us mommas got to know each other a bit better. At the hour marker, I had Declan take a break and come to open his gifts. The kids were all having such a good time that after each card or gift, Declan had to search for his friend who had brought THAT gift so he could thank them and let them know how cool it was! Which was funny in and of itself.
After the presents were opened, the kids were bored running in the clearing, and the playground seemed nonexistent. But, that creek; that creek was SCREAMING to be played IN! Suddenly, a mom said, hmm…. and we all looked.
My two boys, of course, are both knee-deep in creek water, along with a handful of Declan’s friends. The remaining kids were keeping their distance at first. But, by the end, all but 3 or 4 had joined in with running amok in the creek. Shoes, clothes, socks, shirts, undergarments; all were ruined! It was quite the sight to behold! Most kids went home half-naked, LOL!
Birthday party entertainment with fishing:
Declan has been insistent about catching and eating a fish since he was about 2 – well, my dad loves to fish, so this is mainly broached around Grandpa Hearn. So for Declan’s birthday, he received a tackle box and a fishing rod from Grandpa and Grandma – and while we were at the park, Declan got to go fishing! This kid was so excited!
He had Grandpa sit with him by the pond for most of the afternoon – much to Grandpa’s dismay at missing out on shade and cold beer, LOL! Regardless, a catfish was CAUGHT! According to my dad, this catfish was just the right size for skinning, cleaning, cooking, and eating. So, he told Declan that if he wanted to eat the fish, we could. Declan was ecstatic!
I was there and said, “Ok, well, if we’re going to eat this fish, then you need to thank it for giving it’s life so that you can eat. Also, if you’re having it killed, you WILL eat it!” Thinking to myself, these two kids for sure won’t want to KILL this poor fish! Well, Declan quickly responds, “I WILL eat it, mom! Thank you fishy for dying!” (My jaw about drops, and my dad starts chuckling.)
Next, it’s Tristan’s turn to thank the fish; but instead of thanking the fish… he stares at it, points, and says, “YOU MUST DIE FISHY!” (My jaw DOES drop and we all bust out laughing!) We fear that Tristan has a bit of a psychotic streak sometimes, LOL.
Flash forward an hour or so, and we’ve realized that we have nowhere to gut or clean said catfish. So, as quietly and covertly as possible, my dad cut the line and let it go loose back into the pond while Declan was at the playground. Not one to forget ANYTHING, though, upon getting ready to leave, Declan pipes up with, “Hey, what about my fishy?!” At which, we regretted to inform him that it mysteriously got loose in the pond! He was none too pleased, LOL! So, we’ll be fishing again before the end of Fall so that we can try to cook one!
Ta Ta for now!
Now that I’ve shared some of my recent favorite stories with my two goofballs – what kind of stories do you have with your kids or family members? I know it’s said often, but kids pick up and say the darndest things! Don’t you think?
Make sure to check out my post from a few months ago about our lives and what’s going on day by day! I’d love to hear from you!
In the meantime, I will get back to my regular 9-5 and finish up some work before this evening. It’s off to Irish Dance class at OFA in St. Louis, which unfortunately requires an hour and a half drive. So 3 hours driving total – after school and work. Joy
Love ya,
Kelly Ann
