Livinglovingandexploring!

I’ve been sitting here for over 20 minutes trying to come up with how I want to introduce this book to you.  I’m honestly at a loss.  This book is INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!  There’s really no other way to describe it.  I mean, I love to write, and come up with nifty ways to get you interested in what I’m saying – but this book, this book is simply amazing.  I started recommending it to friends/family before I even finished it!  Also, really, what better review can you give to anything out there, if it’s not the recommendation to go out and buy whatever the product is that you’re referring to?!

This book broaches a wide range of topics from parenting in general, discipline, potty training (TERRIFYING, I KNOW!), divorce, prior trauma, family genetics, diversity and more!  I found myself smiling after about 3 minutes of reading.  I was fortunate enough to receive the unedited version of this book before it was even officially published, and I’m so very glad that Angela (an Independent Book publicist – visit her site at angelamelamud.com!) thought of me and asked if I’d like to review it!

Dr. Vanessa LaPointe, a published author and well known psychologist ventures into some pretty deep territory and breaks down normal and not-so normal behaviour that you may or may not even realize your child is doing!  Is the acting out that your child does on a regular basis normal?  More than likely.  Are there tips/tricks for you to follow and try to establish as routine in your life to make the raising of your children easier?  DEFINITELY!  This book has it all.  I was so very excited when I finished it up – I was bragging about it to my mother-in-law last night while face-timing with my kiddos who happened to be with her for the evening.

My kids mean the absolute world to me, as I’m sure your kids mean to you as well.  Each of us, as parents, want to do the best for their kids, no matter the situation.  At least, that’s what I hope we all want!  I find myself struggling a lot with the normal questions:  Was I too hard on Declan?  Should I have taken that toy away?  Do we have to keep Tristan in his own room?  *Insert your own kiddos names in those questions and you’ve probably asked yourself similar questions before*

Not only does Dr. Vanessa go into child-rearing….but she addresses the inevitable way that we all were raised growing up in the era of spanking, wooden spoons, belts, or worse!  This cycle just keeps going around and around because you end up turning into your parents at some point in time, and that generally means you parent the way you were parented.  What I absolutely LOVED about this book was how she attempts to break your own past down for you and help you to figure out why you react the way that you react.  For example, when my child starts throwing one of MANY temper tantrums when we’re out grocery shopping, I’m simultaneously ticked off immensely and super embarrassed!  So she had me questioning….why.  Why am I so irritated and embarrassed by my kiddos behaviour!?  It takes a lot of self-reflection…. But I can guarantee you it’s because I felt shamed as a kid when my mom and/or dad would get mad at ME for acting out while out/about.  So I’m trying to get my child to get in line, just like my parents did with me.  The cycle has to end somewhere, may as well try to start with me and mine.

I have to say – the way I was raised doesn’t bother me in the slightest.  Yes, I got in trouble; I was grounded a lot (and my parents took away my BOOKS as that scared me 10x more than anything else LOL); I had toys taken away (and given back later); I was spanked (OMG, SHOCKER!?!?!  Hold your horses, spanking was 100% legal and normal when I was being raised!) – And I’ve come out the other end a strong, well-balanced, mostly happy individual.  My mom is my best friend and confidante; my dad is my outspoken best friend with un-wavering opinions.  I love them more than a lot of people out there and I wouldn’t be who I am today without their guidance and support growing up – and still NOW!

I’m super passionate about how I want my kids raised and what I want them to see, hear, be around, etc.  I think it’s natural as parents that we all are.  But it makes us even better parents by giving children their individuality and recognizing it for what it is – their heart and soul.  Their true selves.  In reading this book I realized that so far, my hubby and I seem to be heading down a mostly correct path with our boys and we definitely have two very different types of children.  It’s incredible and humbling to see their similarities and differences and how they bounce ideas off of each other (and us) and everything around them.  Children, at their base, want to be loved and supported.  So, I’m going to do my best to do just that, love and support them, and try to minimize any damage I’m inevitable going to cause – as we all mess up sometimes!

But, at least I have this nifty book to help me out when I’m feeling frustrated!  In the meantime, if you’re feeling interested, go check out this lovely lady as well – as she put heart and soul into this book at https://drvanessalapointe.com/.  I don’t know about you, but I’d love to meet her someday.  PS – I’m going out and buying her OTHER published book, ‘Discipline without Damage’ on Friday as soon as I get paid!  Thanks for visiting and let me know your thoughts!!

Love ya,

Kelly Ann