Can you imagine a life where vision doesn’t exist? The statistics are incredible, much larger than I could’ve imagined. Nearly 8 million people between the ages of 16 – 75 years old have a visual disability or are blind in the United States alone, per the National Federation of the Blind.
I know that it’s not impossible for me, as I have terrible vision without my glasses or my contacts. However, I can still SEE. Without my visual assistance, though, everything further than three feet in front of me is so blurry, I’m lucky to make out if it’s human, animal, or mineral, LOL. That doesn’t mean I’m blind, though. I can at least see; blurry as it may be.
When Courtney with Smith Publicity reached out to me about Ruth Vallis’ memoir, “Love is Blind,” I was pretty intrigued. Here’s this strong, unbreakable woman who has been blind for all but two or so years of her life. Ruth never knew any different than being blind. Blindness was entirely natural for her. The only downside that I could gather from her memoir was that she had to be sent away from her family to attend a specialized school specifically for the blind in Canada at a young age.
Ruth didn’t let that stop her, though. A HUGE reason behind her strength and courage was her mother. Her mother always pushed her forward and never let her pity herself or any shortcomings (as if she had any.) She learned to ride a bike as soon as she could “borrow” her brothers’ when he wasn’t looking. She learned to cook by spending countless hours with her mother in the kitchen and listening to what she was doing.
Ruth is her own version of wonder-woman!
It’s amazing the little things that Ruth could pick up without seeing what she was even trying to do! Ruth’s story is one of grit, faith, love, luck, anxiety, and every other verb you want to throw out there. It’s an understatement to tell you how much I truly enjoyed this book. I enjoyed coming up with some questions for her afterward, which she happily answered for me.
At one point in her book, I have to tell you I had to put it down and start Googling her and Prince Charles, as apparently, she rode a bicycle with him back in the day!!! I am sad to say that after an hour of searching, I had to give up. I didn’t have enough details to find the photograph of it, but apparently, it was all over the news in England, as I can only imagine!
This book is a testament to how much anyone can accomplish if they don’t set any limitations on themself. Even being blind, Ruth became a physiotherapist, attended a prestigious University across the pond, has earned oodles of awards, and has traveled the world. Being blind isn’t a hindrance when it comes to Ruth Vallis. It’s done nothing but propel her forward.
Making yourself the best version of YOU is what you should aspire to!
“Love is Blind” also takes direct aim at how our world is slacking right now. Of the millions of blind, only a handful are capable of deciphering and reading Braille. If you aren’t aware, Braille is the written word for the blind. If you’re blind, the only way to read a book on your own is via Braille. Ruths’ book shines a light on the fact that Braille isn’t nearly utilized in today’s world as it should be. Since technology has become so evolved, many more people have access to books that someone else reads aloud, such as Audible. It creates a very laid-back kind of attitude in even attempting to learn to be self-sufficient.
You can see Ruth here, on WREG News Channel 3, Memphis, discussing precisely that. She also discusses a few other things concerning her book, including her mother, whom she affectionately called Peach. If it wasn’t for Peach, the Ruth we have today might very well be an entirely different person.
As I stated earlier, I was able to reach out and interview Ruth via email. Here’s what we talked about:
What made you decide to write this profound book?
There were several things that got me thinking about writing a book. My grade eight teacher suggested that I was living such an interesting life that I should one day write about it and call it “Love is Blind.” I have also spoken at many conferences related to my career and some conferences for the education and career training of the blind. Whenever I spoke publically, I was asked to write my story; however, I felt the real story was the influence of my mother and, I believe the world would be a better place with more people like her, and they needed to know what that would take. Consequently, when I decided to retire, I knew the book had to be my first project.
I noticed as I was reading that you were focused less and less on the fact that you are blind, which had me forgetting at times that you are blind!! You’ve lived such an incredible life already. Do you feel that being blind was ever a hindrance once you accepted it as fact?
I don’t think my mother ever let me focus on being blind, and I think her expectations of me and her willingness to help me find solutions to challenges pushed my blindness further and further into the background. I was never allowed to use it as an excuse and, therefore, did not often consider it when making decisions or trying new things. However, I have discovered at times that that was not always wise because it led me to make assumptions about other people’s expectations of me being an ordinary person who just happens to be blind when, in fact, they may have only seen blindness or, at least, put blind before ordinary person. Nevertheless, as one has increasing success in life, one, hopefully, focuses on the positives, and that doesn’t include blindness most of the time.
You mentioned your travels several times throughout the book – could you explain which destination was your favorite and why?
IN 2013 I took a one-month cruise from San Diego, Calif., around Hawaii, down to Tahiti, and back to San Diego. One of our stops was a little island called Rangiroa in French Polynesia. It has little in the way of twenty-first-century amenities, which is part of the charm. I was standing on the beach when my travel companion handed me a ukulele which was on display. I started playing it when several local musicians joined in for a brief but wonderful jam session. Sand, sea, sun, a little breeze, and music – paradise! Mind you, there is something special about everywhere, and it is often the people, although there are many places where they have never met an educated blind person or a guide dog.
What made you retire in 2015? You promised Peach, but I may have missed the reasoning behind that particular year?
Peach always felt that my job was too demanding on me, and she wanted me to stop as soon as I could, or sooner. In 2015 I turned fifty-five and had thirty years at the hospital, which gave me a full pension. However, the mixed connective tissue disorder which caused me to go blind was increasingly taking its toll on other organs, and I began to feel unwell. Although I am now quite well controlled with medication, I no longer have the strength to struggle through two subways in rush hour at either end of each day and perform the very physical tasks of treating, lifting, and turning multiple trauma patients, anymore.
What is up next for you?? Do you still go to schools and hospitals to give talks about physiotherapy? Or anything else?
The pandemic has greatly restricted me, like everyone else, but I did recently give a zoom lecture to a college class of PT and OT assistant students. My hope is that, once the pandemic is behind us, I will be able to do some public speaking. I would love to speak to students and to corporations as I feel there is a lot to be said about possibilities in general and employment for the disabled. My life has not always been easy, but it has certainly been worth it, and I desire the same for others.
My final thoughts:
First, buy this book – it’s seriously incredible. Second, I am so happy that someone has written about tough love from a child’s perspective. Peach, as Ruth calls her mother, is willing to do anything for her children. Except allow them an easy path of being a victim or using a disability to claim they can’t do something. There are too many parents who bend over backward to their children and allow them to be exactly that; victims, or worse, bullies. Suppose we could all agree that a bit of discipline won’t ruin our children, perhaps in the future. In that case, they’ll all be better apt to handle themselves professionally and be good people in society that are helpful to all.
I mentioned this book as a possible gift idea in my recent Mother’s Day post, and now I stand by that even more—such a fantastic read. Very uplifting and just can make you smile while you read. Have you read this book or anything like it? I’d love to know – and I’ll add it to my Goodreads list! You can find it for sale on all major booksellers, or on Ruth’s own site, Ruthvallis.com.
Love ya,
Kelly Ann
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